the things you knew (all fall away)
by thequeenofstorms
Summary: AU; Rumplestiltskin doesn't interfere in Regina's life. Regina is unhappily married, has her mother dictating every aspect of her life and Maleficent has taken an interest in her.


Regina felt as a bird in a cage; she was free to sing to her heart's content, so long as it pleased her masters, free to explore so long as she accepted the gilded bars as her limit. She smiled widely at her subjects and dressed in the most ornate gowns, obeying the countless rules of courtly decorum, and no one was much bothered by her, including her new husband and stepdaughter. She was allowed to the edges of the palace, to the pavilions on the cliff overlooking the valley but not off the grounds. No specific edict had ever been issued forbidding her from such freedom, but the guards that followed her every move always seemed to have an excuse to call her back - it was nearly supper, her mother had requested she join her for tea, the king wished to see her. Innocent enough, perhaps but Regina had felt much less innocent in the past weeks.

Her husband - the word was curdled milk on her tongue, sour and sickening - surely did not think of her often. They did not share a bedchamber and for that Regina was grateful, thanking the gods for the small mercy. Leopold had availed himself of the pleasures her body offered almost nightly in the early months of their marriage, serving her empty platitudes about her beauty and bravery. With some effort and the sharp tutelage of her mother, Regina had quickly learned to rein in the desire to cry when he demanded wifely things of her, schooling her face into whatever mask suited the moment. Another aspect of her assumed royalty that she loathed.

Leopold's visits were sporadic now, his passion for the warm recesses of her body cooling, though he still indulged himself frequently enough - the importance of a male heir still reigned supreme despite Snow White's esteemed position. Regina was reminded of the way a small child abandoned a toy when the novelty wore off. It had been only a few months ago that Regina had believed wholly in the pervasive love of family and in the undeniable truth that true love was the most powerful of magics, so much stronger than the kind of magic her mother used to steal breath from Regina's lungs until she acquiesced. The realization she was but a toy to be used, by her mother to gain royal favour, by her husband for fleeting pleasures of the flesh, by everyone around her for their own gain, was a bitter one. It brought tears to her eyes and caused her to retch violently, gagging on the implication that her mother had been correct about the weakness of love.

She wondered if she would ever, ever belong to herself. The answer came to Regina as soon as she posed it: not as long as she was married, as long as her mother controlled her every movement, as long as her husband desired her within arm's reach. He preferred her as her mother did, an empty vessel that smiled at all the right moments and agreed with all his sweeping declarations.

The pressure of Snow's betrayal weighed heavily on Regina's heart, the pain only growing more acute as the moments between where Regina stood, moving forever forward, and where Daniel took his last breath, elongated into days and weeks and months. The loss of Daniel cut her deeply, more deeply than she could bring herself to consider, a wound that only festered as sand and salt were rubbed within it by her current life. He had given her the strength to push off the crushing yoke of her mother's oppression, ignore the way magic had wrapped around her and forced her to capitulate to Cora's demands, the way Cora's words seared into her soul with such skill she thought she might never recover.

Now she was truly alone.

All for a selfish, privileged little girl who thought she knew better, that she knew Cora better than Regina.

Her heart ached whenever she looked upon her stepdaughter's face, her stomach turning as she recalled exactly what the girl had cost her. Regina's heart would never thrum with the same love again, the same happiness; once lost it could never be replaced, she knew that.

Still, there were days when Regina felt her only salvation was in her stepdaughter's laugh. Snow White would laugh as she hopped alongside Regina, grabbing at her hand and she could feel a warmth spread through her chest. For a moment should would forget the pain and feel only joy before the ache returned tenfold at the way she betrayed Daniel and found joy in someone who had been so responsible for his death. She had loved Snow White from the first second she had looked at the girl's terrified face on that grassy hillside and it proved to be much more difficult to separate that knot of love from the hate and disgust that pooled within Regina. It left Regina with a cavalcade of emotions, the entirety of them overwhelming and painful, so much so that she attempted to avoid Snow as often as possible.

It was so very strange, to love and hate Snow White so very much simultaneously and Regina felt sometimes as if she might be torn in two by it.

Perhaps she would be, one day.

* * *

The palace was practically buzzing over the preparations for the latest royal to visit. Once, Regina had thought her mother's dinner parties for nobles to be lavish but over the time she had been married to Leopold, she had learned that what she had thought to be her mother's opulence was considered ordinary. It seemed that nary a month passed without royalty of some sort visiting. Dukes and Earls were treated to lavish parties and elaborate feasts but when kings and queens visited there seemed to be no cost too high.  
Cora explained that such displays were part of how the royal families interacted, attempting to impress each other with the depth of their coffers, to outdo each other in an attempt to gain the political upper hand. It seemed shockingly frivolous to Regina, a waste of money that could be spent on making the lives of the kingdom's citizens better. Cora explained, as if to a very small child, that the citizens of the realm were best served with the knowledge that their king was ensuring they were protected politically, lest the kingdom ever be attacked.

Regina had smiled and nodded, as if she accepted her mother's word as gospel, the way Cora preferred, but had scoffed internally. These shows of bravado aided no one and nothing but the egos of the monarchy. She had seen true power, seen it wielded by her mother and by Leopold, even by Snow White; it lay in the ability to end lives on a whim, to tear asunder the bonds of love and family, to marshal action that would be recorded in the annals of history. The kings and queens that pranced through Leopold's court held that power so carelessly in the palms of their smooth, delicate hands, preferring to revel in meaningless decadence and trivialities.

"Who is visiting this time?" Regina tried to keep the disdain from her voice as she inquired about who exactly would be gracing the halls of the palace in a few short days.

"Maleficent, Your Majesty," the handmaid responded dutifully, as she pulled Regina's hair back, running a brush through it.

The girl's name was Helena, the daughter of her mother's longtime maid. Cora would not be parted from her servant, not when the woman could anticipate her every whim with such ease, so Helena had made the journey with them and became Regina's personal servant. Regina briefly wondered if the girl was ever granted leave to wander about the castle grounds, or if her duties as Regina's handmaid occupied all her time and required her to stay indoors.

Regina found Helena's presence comforting, taking solace that another felt as uncomfortable in the spacious palace as she did.

"Maleficent?" Regina asked, unsure if she had heard correctly. "But she rarely leaves the forbidden fortress and she has made no effort to hide her disdain for the monarchies of surrounding lands."

"She..." Helena trailed off, bowing her head and returning her full attention to readying Regina for the day ahead.

Regina twisted, facing Helena. She was young, not even out of her teen years yet, with wide set, watery blue eyes and pale skin but still suitably plain in her drab clothes and unstyled hair. That was the proper way for any servant to look, Cora maintained, lest a royal husband's lusts stray from his wife to her prettier servants. Though Regina would not have minded a whit if Leopold's lubricious eye wandered elsewhere, she would not want such attentions to fall upon Helena.

She brushed her fingers against Helena's wrist, frowning at the way her blue eyes remained downcast. They had servants at her old manor, as befit their station Cora would say, and though they kept their eyes downcast when in her mother's presence, they would smile and wink at Regina, passing her hot rolls just out of the oven and pressing kisses to her head when she made them laugh. They had been very careful never to let her mother see, lest they be cast out of the house, but Regina remembered their warmth. There was none of that in Leopold's palace; the servants were obedient and demure, moving like mice, scurrying out of view as quickly as possible.

"It's just kitchen gossip, Majesty," Helena said quietly. She clenched the wooden handle of the hairbrush tightly, turning her knuckles white.

"You are safe with me when we are alone, dear," Regina smiled, pleased when the girl smiled back. The courtiers that paraded through the palace all sought to gain her favour, feeling the pull of power that came with her rise to queen. Regina didn't feel it. She commanded no more power than they did, helpless in the face of the desires of others. Truly pleasing her husband or mother was beyond her meagre grasp, not when the man cared so little for her and Cora cared only for what she called 'true power'. Queen of Nothing, that's what she was.

"They say that Maleficent is coming to see you, majesty," Helena said, returning to Regina's hair. She twisted the strands up, pulling them away from Regina's face.

"Me?" Regina's brow furrowed. Maleficent was renowned throughout the land for her magic and her disdain for everyone. Though she was invited to each gala, as decorum demanded, Maleficent never as much as responded. She was rumoured to be beautiful, though she hadn't been seen in many years. No one dared to venture near her castle, dubbed the Forbidden Fortress for it's impenetrable location and because it was rumoured that a dragon guarded it. What could such a woman want with Regina?

"Yes, majesty," Helena continued to work on Regina's hair, the comfortable intimacy between them returned. "Robert, the valet, says that she sent a request to Leopold to discuss trade negotiations but Gwynn, the head cook, says the only thing that has changed in the last months is you."

"And you think the reason for changing her mind is my arrival? What could she possibly want with me?"

"You are the queen, Your Majesty," Helena sounded breathless, as if she could not imagine why anyone would not desire to meet Regina.

"I'll never be a true queen," Regina whispered, more to herself than Helena. This was just a disguise donned, it wasn't really her. A farce put on for the public, a play with Regina in the role of wife and mother.

"I know things are not the way you wish them to be, your majesty, but you must make the best of it," Helena's voice was as soft as her fingers, twisting locks of Regina's dark hair up.

Regina smiled at Helena's optimism, even though her heart sank at the reality. The girl didn't know the whole story, she couldn't. That was between her and her mother.

"You seemed happy back at the estate, if you don't mind me saying. I know that it's different here and that not everyone made the journey with us," Regina glanced up, meeting Helena's eyes in the mirror, feeling a painful jolt go through her at the oblique mention of Daniel, "but perhaps you'd be able to find something to bring you comfort here."

Her hands were warm on Regina's neck as she tucked the remaining few strands of hair up off her neck. Her heart still beat fast in her chest but Regina forced a small smile to her lips and took a leap. "You bring me comfort, Helena."

Helena huffed, returning her attention to her duties, smoothing her fingers over Regina's elaborate hairstyle, careful not to raise her head. Regina noticed the blush staining the girl's pale cheeks and felt oddly pleased that she was able to have such an effect on the girl.

She had almost no friendships as a child, clinging instead to her father's hand and her horses. The estates of the other noble families of the realm were located on the opposite side of the family home, resulting in any visits to be scheduled well in advance. Cora did not appreciate surprises of any sort. Well informed is well prepared, she would say when a messenger would arrive carrying an invitation and, for a few coins, any salacious gossip to be had. Regina had been kept away from Helena and girls like her, friendships that would not increase her station were discouraged. Until Daniel she had never believed that she might need anyone outside of her sheltered little world. He had been almost fourteen when he started working in the stables and Regina had been eleven. She had kept their friendship a secret from her, even from her father. Daniel was something that was just hers, something private, something kept far away from her mother's inquisitive eyes and deep within Regina's heart.

Now she could not be sure that everyone around her was not reporting back to her mother.

"I am not suitable to be a friend, majesty. If you find none of the courtiers to your liking, you should spend some time with the princess," Regina flinched at the suggestion, her body betraying her yet again. Helena smoothed her hands over Regina's shoulders, squeezing gently. "The girl adores you."

"She wants a mother," Regina moved across the room, picking up the undergarments that were draped over the bed, ready to be worn.

Helena laughed lightly, taking the corset from Regina's hands. "You're far too young to be the mother of the princess, your majesty."

Regina sighed as Helena helped her into the bodice. "The King doesn't seem to think so."

Helena laughed again. "Forgive me, your majesty," she whispered, leaning close to Regina's ear as if someone might overhear. "But he is a man. They know nothing of women."

"He is no ordinary man. He is the king." Regina said automatically, glancing around, as if suspecting guards would burst into the room at any moment and take Helena away for such treasonous talk.

Helena pulled the laces of Regina's corset tight, the process painstaking but well-remembered. "Meaning that he never had to learn. You don't need to be her mother to have a relationship with Princess Snow. You can be her sister, her friend."

"I don't know if that is possible," Regina admitted, feeling suddenly sad. That little girl had cost her so much, her selfish desire for Regina costing the life of her soulmate. How could that ever be forgiven?

Helena moved in front of Regina, inspecting her work. "Of course it's possible, your majesty. She is a lonely little girl."

Regina didn't miss the inference, that she should know what it was like to be so lonely while surrounded by people. Helena seemed to think they were the same, two lonely little girls, lost in a palace too big for them.

Helena smiled one last time and scurried off, leaving Regina alone to her thoughts.

* * *

Maleficent was everything the rumours promised. Tall and beautiful, she seemed to command the attention of everyone in the room better than anyone Regina had ever seen. She scanned the room with utter boredom upon entering, daring everyone to just try and entertain her. And try they did.

She followed all the rules of courtly decorum as she walked around the room, train of her mulberry gown trailing behind her, her arm hitched in Leopold's but it seemed to Regina that she was doing it with a mocking sneer instead of the passive smile. No one else seemed to notice the difference, or if they did, their faces did not show it. She was so new to all of this courtly intrigue but Regina wanted to believe herself to be improving with each day, each ball, each feast.

It wasn't until supper that evening, the sounds of the harp melodious in the background, that Regina got the chance to speak to the woman beyond a simple greeting. Maleficent insisted on sitting beside Regina, sweeping across the room and into the seat beside Regina before the valet could instruct her to sit at the left hand of the king as his honoured guest.

Her eyes swept up Regina's body, appraising her, lingering on her décolletage. Regina shifted uncomfortably under Maleficent's gaze, feeling very much like a dirty child being examined disapprovingly. Her eyes strayed to Cora, sitting a few seats away, pointedly ignoring Henry and watching Regina over the brim of her goblet with interest. Regina's chest tightened, a knot forming low in her belly. Caught between the predatory gaze of a visiting aristocrat and her mother's stern eye felt dangerous. It was useless to pray to the gods that the meal be over quickly as she knew for a fact the meal was eight courses long, with wines and drinks being distributed generously.

"It is very nice of you to visit our kingdom, your majesty," Regina said, bowing her head in deference. She had received enough lessons on how to behave throughout her life that it felt as though it were second nature.

Maleficent waved her hand dismissively. "Oh, my dear, don't bother with such false pleasantries. Call me Maleficent," she chuckled deeply, as if she found something funny about the entire situation.

"I'm sure you and the King will accomplish much in your time here, Maleficent," Regina forced a smile onto her face, trying to keep up with the other woman. She had a gut feeling that Maleficent liked to flout or change the rules as often as she could to keep people off balance.

"I didn't come to discuss trade routes and tariffs with the king, your majesty," Maleficent leaned in close, lowering her voice. "I came to see you."

"Me?" Regina's voice squeaked upwards in shock. She quickly schooled her features back to an impassive mask but Maleficent's sharp blue eyes sparkled and Regina knew she had not covered quickly enough. Regina felt a spark of anger in her chest. She tightened her fingers into a fist around the embroidered silk of her dress. "You're not exactly known for your desire to take part in the politics and niceties of the kingdoms, nor visiting the new wives of kings."

Maleficent smirked, giving Regina the sinking impression that with that small burst of anger she had played directly into Maleficent's hands. "No, I'm not known for that. Niceties in particular have never interested me."

"I fail to see what is so interesting about me that you would invent a reason to visit," Regina sniffed, narrowing her eyes. The knot in her belly tightened and she clenched her fists tightly to cover the shaking of her hands.

Maleficent ran her tongue along the edge of her teeth, glancing towards the nearby table where Cora sat, her gaze set on the two women. "I imagine you would, Regina," Maleficent smiled at Cora and placed stretched across the space between them, placing her hand on Regina's left, the one that was still resting on the oak table. "But I think that you and I will become very good friends."


End file.
